I Peed my Pants for my Mom (or) Picking the Right Disposable Underpants

In the past 19 months, I have made many sacrifices for my parents, and I have dealt with situations that I never could have imagined. My parents are in their 80’s and live in another state. My father has dementia. My mother has various physical ailments and takes major pain medication.

Recently, I believe I went above and beyond what should be expected of a daughter. I peed my pants – on purpose.

This particular sacrifice began when we realized that Mom’s inability to control her functions was increasing. It became clear (at least to my sister and me) that Mom needed to start wearing disposable underpants. Mom refused. She said her disposable underpants stuck out and showed under her slacks. My sister said that she couldn’t tell Mom had them on. Dilemma – Mom needs to wear disposable underpants, but she won’t wear them.

Whenever I am faced with a dilemma, I try to analyze all aspects of the situation and come up with a viable solution. Analyzing the situation many times involves research.

Time to research disposable underpants.

First, I researched disposable underpants online. I found the brand that Mom had and went to the store with brand and measurement information. Mom had Tena brand, size S/M. My sister had bought them at Walmart. The Walmart in my town doesn’t carry that brand. Sigh. . . So I bought Assurance disposable underpants. They had the same measurements and looked much like the picture of the Tena underpants on the internet.

Then, in order to research further, I wore the disposable underpants. They fit fine under my jeans and slacks. I wore them one day and one night. By the next morning, they had stretched out and wouldn’t stay in place.

More research on the internet. I looked at many different brands and sizes. I realized that the underpants marked S/M measured all the way from 25” to 45” so they can fit more people. Except that they don’t fit small people. Now, I’m not trying to say that I’m small. But I am only 5’ tall, and Mom is much shorter than me. And she is tiny. So if they stretched out too much on me, they would be even worse on Mom.

After many hours of research online and at stores in my town, I found that most of the brands sold on the internet are sized differently from the brands in the stores. And many of the brands sold on the internet are not sold in stores. I even investigated pull-ups for children and youth. I finally found small disposable diapers for women at Walgreens – Certainty – Walgreens brand. They are marked XS, but they had the same measurements as underpants on the internet marked S.

I wore these underpants instead of regular underpants for three days and two nights. They fit much better than the others. They fit lower at the top, so they should not bunch at Mom’s stomach. They appeared to be thinner than the others, but part of that was because they fit better.

Then, the final test. It wouldn’t matter if they fit if they didn’t do the job. I had to do it!

I put on my pajama pants over the disposable underpants and some old slippers on my feet. If the underpants didn’t do the job, then there would be a mess. I proceeded to do normal things around the house until my bladder informed me that it was full. I then waited a little bit longer until my bladder was screaming at me. I wanted to be sure whether the disposable underpants would really work.

I then went into the bathroom and stood. And stood. . .

By this time, my bladder was doing somersaults and jumping up and down. But it would not release. I happened to see myself in the mirror. Oh, the absurdity! Here was an adult woman standing in her bathroom and trying to pee in her pants – on purpose. I started to laugh. What else could I do?

That did it! And the floods came.

I am happy to report that my “scientific” research was successful – at least for me. Even though the Certainty disposable underpants are thin, they held a great deal of liquid. The pajama pants were dry, the slippers were dry, the floor was dry, the sides tore away just like they were supposed to, and I could finally put on my regular underpants.

You know. . .  I may wear disposable underpants the next time I have to take a long car trip.

And the Tree Comes Tumblin’ Down – Day 3

(Read about Day 1)

(Read about Day 2)

Remember, this is what my tree looked like after it had died.

My beautiful shade tree!  Gone!  Sigh. . .

At the beginning of the first day, the guys told me that it might take two days to get it cut down.  Yeah. . .  Well. . .

The tree guys accomplished a lot the first day and the second day. 

Then it was Day 3.  Again, the guys arrived very early.  Again, I was dressed and prepared.

Look!  I have a beached whale in my backyard!

I’m serious!  Doesn’t that look like a beached whale?

Notice that most of the wood from yesterday is gone.  It’s in the truck. 

They can’t feed big logs into that chomping machine that they used on Day 1 and Day 2.

Back to the beached whale (aka – huge trunk!).  I guess they have to make these cuts first before actually going all the way through.

I don’t really understand why there was only one guy cutting on the trunk while the other guys sat over to the side.  It doesn’t seem like an efficient use of time and resources, especially since my neighbor’s backyard still had lots of branches in it.

I mentioned a couple of times that it would be good for them to get the neighbor’s yard cleaned up so he could mow or whatever.  But they didn’t seem to want to follow my suggestions.  They said they would get that later because they were concentrating on getting the tree cut up.  Hmmm. . .

This was another day of vibrating teeth whenever I tried to work at my desk.  They were right outside my office window (as you can see in this picture – that’s the window screen).

Actually, I think I can still feel it.  Maybe this is kind of like the phantom pain that people have when they lose a limb.  (Not to say that my discomfort is anything even close to what those people suffer.  Please accept my apology!)

Almost gone!

End of Day 3!  Bye bye big truck!

Tomorrow – final cleanup!

Disclaimer:  No whales were hurt (or even physically present) during the removal of this tree.

And the Tree Comes Tumblin’ Down – Day 2

(Read about Day 1)

Remember, this is what my tree looked like after it had died.

My beautiful shade tree!  Gone!  Sigh. . .

The tree guys accomplished a lot the first day. 

Then it was Day 2.  Again, the guys arrived very early.  I was prepared this time.

It seemed like they had noticed the pile of wood chips I had swept out of the street.  I saw them talking and pointing.  HeeHeeHee! 

Then they got to work.  Soon, they had all the branches off and started on the top part of the trunk.

They had to lower these chunks using a rope.  Sometimes the chunks landed hard on the yard with a huge bang.  My office is in a room right by that part of the yard.  A little disconcerting.

That’s a big pile of wood!

They got down to the giant trunk.  See how tall the trunk still is?

The guys went at the huge logs with power saws. 

I could barely work during this part.  You’ve heard people say that something made their teeth rattle?  Well. . .  this sawing made my teeth actually vibrate when I was sitting at my desk.  Eeewwww.  I can’t even imagine what it must be like for those guys!  A lot of shake, rattle, and roll!

(Oooops!  Song interlude.)

 

I was really glad for this day to end!

(Read about Day 3)

And the Tree Comes Tumblin’ Down – Day 1

One of the things I loved about my house when I bought it almost two years ago was the humongous, giant tree in the backyard. It’s directly behind the house and was great shade for the yard and the house. At the time, it did have one branch that looked kind of dead. It didn’t have leaves like the rest of the branches.

Since I was gone most of last summer in Texas dealing with parent situations, I didn’t realize that the tree was continuing to die. This summer, it is gone, nada, capoot, dead. . .

My beautiful shade tree!  Sigh. . .

Of course, not only is the wonderful shade gone, the tree is a definite hazard for the house and for the power lines behind the tree.  So — it’s coming down.

The tree removal company came out and looked at the tree at the beginning of May and were supposed to start on it within a week or two, but then we got rain, rain, rain.  They then had to wait for the ground to dry out so their truck wouldn’t sink into my backyard and become a permanent yard ornament.  (Not a pretty thought!)  They suddenly showed up at 7:15 AM this week.   No warning.  Yikes! 

Thank goodness I was dressed!  It could have been really scary.

The first order of business was for them to get access to the backyard. 

There is a huge double gate on the front fence, so they measured to see if they could drive the truck through the gate.  Well. . .  almost.  They had to remove the gate completely in order to squeak through. 

I crossed my fingers, prayed, and sucked in my breath and held it until the truck got all the way through. 

Whew! 

The basket went up

and up

and up.

Then they added a second basket with a second cutter.

The tree surgeons at work.  Reminds me of that medical “joke” — The surgery was a success, but the patient died.  This poor patient is already dead.  Waaaaaaaa!

(Oooops! Song interlude. “Weird Al” Yankovic – Like A Surgeon)

 

The pile of wood on both sides of the street grew and grew.

At the end of Day 1, the tree looked like this.

The ground under the tree looked like this.

The tree guys looked like this.

The limbs from the tree looked like this.

When the guys left, the street looked like this.

Good grief!  Every time a car drove over this stuff, a big cloud of sawdust would blow up.  And wood chips were going everywhere!

I got out the broom and went to work.  I left the pile of sawdust and wood chips at the curb so the tree guys would be sure and see it when they showed up the next morning. 

Is that evil?  Hmmmm. . .

I don’t know if the drive in front of my house has ever looked quite this good.

And it’s so peaceful.  Ahhhhhhh. . .

(Day 2)

(Day 3)

Crabgrass is Sneaky, Manipulative, and Evil!

Evil crabgrass is trying to kill my precious little baby bermuda grass!

The thing is, crabgrass is sneaky and manipulative – especially to a novice gardener like me.  I didn’t know that when I planted the bermuda seeds in my yard.  I didn’t know that when little green shoots started peeking out of the ground very quickly after I planted the seeds.  I had never seen baby bermuda grass, so I thought the little green shoots were baby bermuda grass coming into the world.  Well, now I know — it’s crabgrass!!

Now that I’ve seen baby bermuda grass, I know better.  If I had been smarter, I would have checked it out on the internet before now.  But no one told me it was crabgrass.  Even the young man who has mowed my yard didn’t know that the little green shoots were crabgrass. 

I did ask 1st Son-in-law about some of the bigger, ugly stuff in the yard.  He has a gorgeous lawn!  First family came to visit for Mother’s Day, so I asked him about the big, ugly stuff.  He told me that it was crabgrass.  Of course, I still didn’t realize when the perky green shoots started coming up in the section I had seeded that they were babies that would grow up into the big, ugly stuff.  That I found out after deciding to research crabgrass on the internet.

Now, to the manipulative part.  The little baby crabgrass looks very cute and innocent at first.  It manipulates you into thinking that it is baby bermuda grass. In fact, my internet research confirms that baby crabgrass can be mistaken for bermuda grass.

The vertical arrows show the toddler crabgrass.  The horizontal arrows pointing left show the baby bermuda grass.  And the horizontal arrows pointing right show tiny baby grass that may be baby bermuda grass or it may be baby crabgrass. 

Then the baby crabgrass gets bigger very, very fast.  It takes over!

Can you even see the baby bermuda grass struggling underneath?  Maybe this will help.

I took this picture after clearing out some of the toddler crabgrass.  Again, the vertical arrows show the crabgrass.  And there’s the baby bermuda grass (see horizontal arrows) still struggling to live.

And still the sneakiness and manipulation continue.  Here’s a picture of teenage crabgrass in another section of my yard.

All the vertical arrows point to parts of one teenage crabgrass.  These are all connected in the middle under the ground.  The one baby crabgrass grew into this in no time at all!  And do you see any bermuda grass underneath or around it?  No!  The crabgrass has choked the life out of the poor bermuda grass.  The thing is, there was bermuda grass there last summer.  Really!

But wait!  Then there’s the adult crabgrass that gets really sneaky and manipulative.  It flattens out so it can take over even more of the yard, and you can’t even reach it to mow it down.

See what I mean?  The arrows are all leaves from the same adult crabgrass.  If it keeps going, the bermuda grass that’s still there will disappear.  Aaaghgghg!!!! (That was me screaming).

(Oooops!  Song interlude.)

Now, how do I get rid of this evil creature?  According to my internet research, the best thing to do before seeding with bermuda is to use a special crabgrass killer on the prepared dirt because crabgrass loves empty dirt.  But I didn’t do that because I didn’t know about it until after I seeded and baby bermuda grass started coming up. 

Once the baby bermuda grass is coming up, evidently, the most effective way to get rid of the baby/toddler/child crabgrass is to pull it up.  Hey — I guess I should have been more obsessive about pulling up that stuff earlier.  At that point, it’s not difficult to pull up because it doesn’t have really deep roots.  But it’s very time consuming and tiring.  And the worst part is that, no matter how careful I am, sometimes the baby bermuda grass comes up with it.  It just breaks my heart when I see the baby bermuda grass coming up — or, worse, feel it in my fingers letting go of the earth as I pull.  Waaaaaaa!!

I just keep telling myself that it would all die if I left the crabgrass.  “It will all die if I leave the crabgrass.”  “It will all die if I leave the crabgrass.”  “It will all die if I leave the crabgrass.”  Waaaaaa!

I’m so sorry, baby bermuda grass.

I Have Baby Grass!

Taking care of a yard is hard work and time consuming!  Especially when you’re older (less stamina) and don’t have a lot of extra time. 

When I bought my house in August, 2009, I knew the yard would need some extra work.  I had planned to tackle it the next spring and summer, but the summer of 2010 was spent dealing with issues involving my parents – driving back and forth to Texas, spending extended periods of time down there, and dealing with paperwork and phone calls when at home. 

So. . .  I paid a lovely young man to mow the grass and weeds – at least it didn’t look like a jungle most of the time.

This spring, I knew I had to do something because the weeds were taking over.  I hatched a plan and took action. 

First, I had to clear out the weeds and stuff.  I discovered that I couldn’t accomplish this for the whole yard at once because, as it turned out, there was a lot of stuff — old grass clippings and crushed leaves and some stuff that I didn’t recognize (Eewwww!) — that had to be cleared to get down to the soil.  So I worked on sections.  This left some really yucky patches in my yard.

After clearing out the stuff with a rake, I used the rake to rough up the top section of the soil.

The grass seed is blue, which is really good because the seeds are so small, I wouldn’t be able to see them once they were on the ground.

Next, I spread seed and fertilizer.  See the little blue seeds?

Look at all those footprints!  They remind me of dance instruction diagrams.

(Oooops!  Song interlude.  “Get Down Tonight” – K.C. and the Sunshine Band)

 

Then I watered, and watered, and watered.  (I also had to keep pulling out weeds that liked the fertilizer and wanted to choke out the little grass seeds that were trying to germinate.  Maybe I didn’t need to do that, but I didn’t like seeing those yucky weeds getting in the way.  I might be just a little obsessive.  Hmmmm. . .)

And now, I have patches of baby grass!  The vertical arrows show the older grass that was already there.  The horizontal arrows show the new baby grass. 

Isn’t it beautiful!!

Compare this picture to the picture of the same section above.

Hurray!!!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Red

I like red.

It’s a first sign of spring.

It’s good to eat.

It warms and brightens my living room.

It warms my feet.

It warms and brightens my heart.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Red

Blend In – FunFauxFoto©

Rain Makes Me Blue – FunFauxFoto©

(Oooops! Song interlude. “Am I Blue” sung by Ethel Waters.)

Weekly Photo Challenge: Round

‘Round and ’round and ’round it goes.  Where it stops, nobody knows.

Spin-the-Bottle

 Weekly Photo Challenge: Round